Over the last two decades, Rahul (name changed) has had a successful career - at least from what was visible. He was heading a business unit in a medium-sized company in an emerging industry. He reckoned that he was probably earning around 70 index to the best-earning Executives with his profile of education and experience. The work stress levels he felt were similar to what he heard from his friends. He had a good equation with his spouse and children. He wished he could spend more time with his family, but then who didn't? However, he had this nagging feeling that something was missing in his life and career.
Anita (name changed) has grown to a Senior HR Business Partners role in a large Global Shared Services company. She had tried to set up her private enterprise for a few years but she could not sustain it beyond a point due to immense operating challenges. So she got back to a well-paying corporate job. She has a great equation with her internal customers, but her manager does not give her due credit and sufficient space to manage her role. She knows that she is not feeling at her best, but she does not know what to do about it.
Do any of these challenges sound familiar? We all go through many ups and downs in our careers. Many situations are good on the surface, but something is eating us up inside. Is it supposed to be this way?
Most of us try to make changes at the surface level since that's where the problem appears. We may look for a promotion to improve our compensation index, look for another role so we can get a new manager, or change the company where we hope to find a more empowering culture. More often than not, it doesn't seem to work. My learning over the last two-and-a-half decades of work combined with coaching more than a hundred leaders, is to carefully recognize where the challenge lies.
All too often we make the mistake of addressing the problem at the same level as where the symptom appears. But beneath the surface of our behaviors lie our feelings - Rahul felt something was missing, he felt a lack of fulfillment. Anita did not feel at her best, she felt in dissonance with what she was doing, and she felt like she was incomplete.
Beneath the feelings lies a set of beliefs that we hold closely. These beliefs have perhaps helped us get to our success levels, but somewhere along the way, they stopped serving us. Beliefs usually have an "if- then" structure. For example, Rahul held the belief that "if he was earning 30% more, at par with his estimate of the top tier of his "peer-set", then he would be happy". Anita held the belief that "if she got the recognition and credit from her manager that she deserved for her contribution at work, then she would be fulfilled".
Finally, beneath the beliefs lie our values. Something that is most precious and inalienable for us. Our values are what we stand for. Values are usually one-word needs such as Integrity, Freedom, Harmony, or Peace. A good way to know our values is that if they are taken away, we feel in deep inner turmoil, almost suffocated.
An important distinction between beliefs and values is the relatively changeable nature of beliefs. When a belief has outlived its purpose, we need to recognize and replace the belief with something more empowering and aligned with our values. A good way to know if the belief has outlived its life is to ask ourselves, is it energizing us? Is it always true? If the answer is "No", then it's time to replace the belief with one that serves us in who we want to be.
In the above scenario, Rahul realized that his belief had stopped serving him - and it wasn't necessarily true. He had seen some of his peers with the same or even much lesser income, feel much happier with their lives. Anita realized that her focus on the recognition and acknowledgment that she was not getting from her manager was making her feel disempowered.
They found new beliefs that were aligned with their values - Rahul identified that "He is happy when he can be fully present at work and make a difference to his team and business". This was aligned with his value of "Excellence". Anita identified that "She is happy when she knows that she has done her best work for her customers." This was deeply connected with her value of "Service-Quality".
Rahul and Anita realized, that they could replace their beliefs while staying true to their values and it released a fresh new energy for them to thrive!
In summary, we all can benefit from self-reflection, supported by a coach whenever needed, to discover the "behaviors-feelings-beliefs-values" connection. Once we identify and replace a belief that is not serving us anymore, we have found the key to unlocking our energy and power!
What are the beliefs that are holding you back?
#ThrivingCareers #SelfAwareness #ThrivingLife #fulfillinglife #Careersatisfaction #Coachinglife #LifeCoaching #Overcomelimitingbeliefs #FeelingsBeliefsValues #UnderstandingValues #PowerofValues
The author, Anuj Chadha, is a Leadership Coach, and the Co-Founder of the Thrive Program, designed for Individual Leaders, Teams, and Organizations, along with Harpreet Arora. To know more, write to anuj@threecircles.co.in or connect@harpreetarora.com
Anuj is the Founder of Three Circles, Faculty & Coach with Leadership Et' Humanite, and an Associate Coach with the Center for Creative Leadership.
At Three Circles, we build a deep understanding of what it takes to navigate the challenges that life throws at us. We partner with our clients, listen to their life & career aspirations, and support them to break through the obstacles that seem to be holding them back. Life is too precious to be unhappy, unsure, or unfulfilled. Partner with us as you re-imagine and re-create the Life that you Love!
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