As Alan Watts gave the analogy, the only time you feel conscious that you are wearing a belt is if it is too tight. Similarly, we cannot feel at ease with ourselves, if we carry our personality too tightly. The word 'personality'Â comes from the Latin word 'persona'. In the ancient world, a persona was a mask worn by an actor, to conceal one's true identity or project a specific character trait.
Have you ever noticed how a board meeting room gets extremely tense with heavy energy when the Boss is projecting a tough look to convey that all is not well with the quarterly results? Now contrast this to the kindergarten playschool where the children are laughing or crying - you can feel how light the energy in the room might be - because the burden of "projected" behavior that "ought to be displayed" has not yet conditioned their minds. Children carry their personalities lightly.
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Imagine if you have to carry a scowl on your face to ensure that everyone takes you seriously! What a miserable way to lead might that be! At the same time, we can't expect the leader to be completely aloof from reality and relax while the business is struggling. So how do Effective Leaders manage the responsibility of leading and inspiring their teams through the ups and downs?
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Here are some behaviors that I have observed in extremely successful and inspiring leaders:
Effective leaders 'hold their ground': As the famous Al Pacino dialogue from Scent of a Woman goes, "When the s**t hits the ceiling, some people run and some people stay!" Effective leaders know that tough situations bring out the difference between the good and the great. They dig in and figure out the situations rather than trying to find excuses or avoid facing the 'heat'.
When the dealers were up in arms due to some supply issues in peak business season, one senior manager preferred to lock themselves inside the company guest house and send their junior colleague to go and tackle the agitated dealers. While the junior manager got a lesson on how to tackle a difficult set of customers, the senior manager lost all respect in the eyes of their team.
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Effective leaders tell the truth: Successful leaders don't beat around the bush trying to find covering stories and holding statements. They admit their mistake and commit to making amends.
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When there was a lock-out in the plant, distributors complained vociferously due to loss of business. The sales team was extremely worried and hesitant to answer their dealers' phone calls or go to meet their customers. This angered the dealers a lot more - they were falling victim to rumors that stocks were being diverted to 'favorite' dealers. The leadership team took the bold decision, to tell the truth as it is - they invited the dealers to a meeting at the warehouses and showed them that there was simply no stock! This immediately diffused the situation and the focus shifted to finding solutions, together.
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Effective leaders remain their natural selves: When you don't carry on a façade, you release immense positive energy and naturally build trust with others. People are willing to confide in you because they are not worried about a hidden scheming personality behind the mask. This is a state of being light and effortless - seeing things for what they are and not having the urge to label people - because you have no 'axe to grind'.
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One of the Senior leaders in a multinational was the most loved & trusted member of the entire leadership team. It was sheer joy to see how he would diffuse a tense situation by asking a plain question or making an observation that would immediately put the entire room at ease. I am sure we have all met someone like that, or maybe you are that person!
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To sum up, when we come up against challenges at work, it is much more tedious to try to cover up or maintain a façade. It breaks trust and creates a barrier with those we seek to lead. It is far more effortless to hold our ground, be open and honest, and be our authentic selves! And if people see us consistently behave this way, we might even become trusted and loved leaders!
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What has been your experience with authenticity and effortlessness?
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The author, Anuj Chadha, is a Leadership Coach, Founder of Three Circles, Faculty & Coach with Leadership Et' Humanite, and an Associate Coach with the Center for Creative Leadership. Â
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