Forwarding & Deepening
I was working with a client, a President in a company, where after there was reasonable progress on the Goals in the initial 10-12 sessions, the relationship seemed to have fallen into a rhythm. There was trust and understanding, that allowed the conversations to flow smoothly - perhaps a bit too smoothly.
In another context, I was working as a Team Coach for a Nutrition team at an MNC in the hospitality industry. I had worked with this team for about six team sessions, and we had explored a fair amount of depth and insights in topics that emerged from the initial discovery conversations. Perhaps there was too much depth.
I was inspired by the work Henry Kimsey-House, Karen Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandahl, and Laura Whitworth in Coactive Coaching, where they refer to the tango dance movement between the coach and the coachee. The role of a Coach is to support Deepening the learning and the responsibility of the Client is to Forward this learning into action, often in between sessions. This dual role though not always perfect, represents the "partnership" between the coach and client that will make the engagement meaningful and impactful.
Imagine that we are building an underground staircase. An alternate movement of deepening and forwarding is needed for the staircase to be built. "Deepening" is about exploring beneath the surface of behaviors, in the realms of feelings, emotions, beliefs, values, and identity. It is where the dots may connect, the discovery or insights may emerge, and meaning-making or learning may take shape. "Forwarding" is about identifying the 'so-what' in the context of the client's situation. The client can convert the meaning-making or learning into a relevant action step or movement that helps take them in the direction of their desired change.
In the absence of Deepening, the engagement is likely to drift. Actions, if any, remain at a surface level and the engagement may be in a "comfortably-numb" zone. In the absence of "Forwarding" all the discovery and insights may remain just that, without making any impact on the external behavior of the individual or the team.
In the first scenario with the company President, when the engagement was running the risk of getting into a "comfortable" rhythm, I provoked the client to consider the following Deepening questions: "What value are you getting out of this coaching?", "What have you learnt about yourself that you did not know at the beginning of our conversations?", "What difference does that make?", "What will you lose if we stop the coaching engagement after today's session?"
In the second scenario, with the MNC Nutrition team, as we approached the mid-point in the engagement, I posed the following Forwarding questions to the team: "What are the key learnings & insights you have discovered in the last three sessions?", "What are the specific change actions you are committing to as a result of the learnings?", "What's stopping you from taking the learning into action?", "What can you to commit to experiment with as a team, that we can review in four weeks?"
Forwarding and Deepening are inseparable movements like the two oars of a row boat. Just like the boat would tend to go in circles if only one oar was in operation, we run the risk of stagnating or drifting if we miss either opportunity in our coaching conversations.
Where in your life are you seeing an opportunity to 'Deepen'? And where are you seeing an opportunity to 'Forward'?
Inspired by a chapter in Coactive Coaching by Henry Kimsey-House, Karen Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandahl, and Laura Whitworth
Photo by Mitchell Luo on Unsplash
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The author, Anuj Chadha, is a Leadership Coach, and a Co-Founder of the Thrive Program, designed for Leadership Teams, along with Harpreet Arora. To know more, write to anuj@threecircles.co.in or connect@harpreetarora.com
Anuj is the Founder of Three Circles, Faculty & Coach with Leadership Et' Humanite, and a Leadership Coach with the Center for Creative Leadership.
Reach out to Anuj for Team or Individual Leadership Coaching, or simply making authentic human connections!
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