As the birds fly the Nest!
- Anuj Chadha
- Oct 1
- 3 min read
Extract from my letter to our daughters who are just entering college life.
Hi Girls! As you enter the next phase of your life, I am sharing this message that you can read whenever you feel like taking a breath for a few minutes.
Connect with yourself: If I were to live my life all over again, the one thing I would change is to connect with my-self sooner. From the moment we are born, and perhaps from earlier lives, we begin to borrow ideas on how we 'should' show up. At some point in our lives, it gets too burdensome to adjust to situations, people, roles, and relationships. The sooner we can 'remember' ourselves, our needs, and values, the faster we can drop the baggage of expectations and own up to who we are. Not as a matter of pride or arrogance, but as a matter of easing into who we always were, before the conditioning made us pretend, out of the fear of not fitting in.
Connect with others: As human beings, we derive energy from others around us. For some people it is large groups of people that fires them up. For others, it is small groups with fewer, closer connections. Whatever makes you tick, be open to build those connections. These connections make us express our humanness. Whether it is sharing your favourite holiday story with a friend over coffee, or book-reading with a bunch of students on a Sunday afternoon, our connections are the weave that creates the fabric of our lives.
Follow your Energy: There are many moments when our path seems unclear. Where the decisions have multiple pros and cons. We feel unsure about the choices and their consequences. In such moments, if all the logic and thinking is not giving you clarity, listen to your heart and follow your energy. We all have been gifted with a super-power called intuition. It’s a deeper intelligence that can guide us, if we just let it. Drop the intense search for the 'perfect' answer, and just take a deep breath or two. Let it bubble up. You are not being lazy, you are letting life guide you.
Stay open to Discover: Often, soon after we decide, we tend to second-guess ourselves, what marketers call "post-purchase dissonance". Say you have just said 'yes' to meeting with a friend over coffee. Immediately, the mind rushes in and says, 'What if the conversation does not go well?" Or you are deciding to speak up in a group context on something that is important to you. And the mind rushes in, "What if others judge me?". My learning is that there is an adventure in discovering how life unfolds. It's not about being extra courageous, or not caring about what happens. It's about being open to noticing how life might unfold. Imagine what life would be like if we knew all the outcomes in advance, and if there was no 'discovery'.
Pause and check-in with yourself every once in a while: Sometimes life feels too racy. Its like a series of movies we are watching one after another. There is no time to absorb, there is no time to savour the taste. It's just one damn thing after another. The amazing news is that you can step of the treadmill whenever you like! Whether it is a mini-pause like a deep breath before you respond to a message from a friend, or a remark from a teacher. Or a more deliberate 15-minute journaling pause on how you feel about yesterday or the previous week. Checking-in can allow you to both live your life more deeply and build self-compassion.
In conclusion, see life as an adventure that is unfolding through you. We have faith - in you and in life. Go out and enjoy each unfolding!
You got this!
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
#asthebirdsflythenest #parentstochildren #faithinlife #lifelessons #newphaseoflife #schooltocollege #lifetransitions #coachinglife #lifecoaching
The author, Anuj Chadha, is a Leadership Coach, and the Co-Founder of the Thrive Program, designed for Leadership Teams along with Harpreet Arora. To know more, write to anuj@threecircles.co.in or connect@harpreetarora.com
Anuj is the Founder of Three Circles, Faculty & Coach with Leadership Et' Humanite, and an Associate Coach with the Center for Creative Leadership.
Reach out to Anuj to learn more about coaching, leadership, or simply making authentic human connections!
Beautifully expressed !
Reading this letter reminded me of my own daughters, and of how presence and simple truths carry the deepest value. Thank you for sharing this with us.